Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Three Words..

First off I would like to remind everyone that May is Melanoma Awareness Month and I strongly urge those of you who might be still be putting off their skin checks to schedule them this month. DON'T wait until it's too late!! 

FACT: One out of five people will develop skin cancer during the course of a lifetime.

FACT: One person dies of melanoma every hour and it can be prevented if caught early enough.

Today I had a faculty retreat, which is a day set aside to give teachers a day of much needed rest and reflection into themselves and their teaching. It was a very nice and calming day full discussions but it just so happened that at the lunch portion of the day I had my greatest reflection. The priest whom was leading the retreat happen to sit at my table, and while in a brief talk with my co-teacher about my upcoming scans and treatment he overheard and got a curious look on his face. So I turned to him and said I have Cancer. And as the words came out it almost.. hurt, I really don't know another word to describe it. I just seem to have a very hard time with saying those three words aloud. Its not that I have a problem sharing my story or having people know about my disease, I mean I write a public blog about it, but for some reason saying it to someone just pains me. Its almost like I don't want them to feel like they have to say the right thing, or comfort me in some way. Or maybe its that I am afraid of "the look," you know what I mean that poor you look.. or maybe it makes all of this just a bit more real hearing it escape from my own mouth. 
But whatever the reason I hope that saying those words will one day get easier, because I think that the best way to spread awareness is to talk about it. Something, among the many..sigh, I need to work on. Writing about it has been such a great release for me and it also helps me feel like I am doing something to help others learn about this terrible illness. But talking.. face to face, how can that not be so much more effective. Allowing people to not only hear my sadness and fear, but to hear the courage and strength in my voice. 
One day.. and on that day I want to shout it so loud that every 'tanner' in the world will hear it!!

I HAVE CANCER!!! 
And my heart will just break if one day you will too...

So since I may not be ready to yell it just yet, I will continue to write it.. in bold.. in caps.. with exclamations ; ) 


I would like to take this time to thank some very special people.. Jody, Tracy, Pauline, Cliff, Irene, and Nancy for supporting me in my Walk for a Cure event in November. It truly means so much!! 
And also say a very very sad farewell to Miranda who passed away this weekend at the age of 32, she fought this beast HARD for 3 years and leaves behind a young son, devoted husband, and lovely family. Miranda rest your head in peace among the angels!

2 comments:

  1. I read this and just want to give you a hug xoxo

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